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♥ Tuesday, December 2, 2008♥
MAYBE...
I was impulsive,
I didnt think hard enough,
I should reconsider.
I can only say this :
You are not me, do you understand me more than myself?
I wasnt hasty, maybe a little nasty.
I thought reeeeeeeeeeally hard till I cannot emphasize more how hard it is.
My shopping hauls may be unaccompanied,
buffet sessions may get fewer,
no one to appreciate the way I dress,
no longer need to report my every whereabouts,
unable to find another 100% gd looking + faithful dude,
have to walk home by myself everyday,
etc etc etc, all alone.
Does all these really matters to me?
I'm i n d e p e n d e n t enough.
Matured slightly more this time round too.
Became stronger after every failures.
Nothing is impossible.
In some situations,
"The one you marry may not be the one you love most,
you just feel that he's a good man, so you gave it in."
I dooooon't wish to fall under that category!!!!
I meant,
yuppppies, I once looooved him with all my strength, heart, soul, efforts, EVERYTHING!
I even once confirmed him as my lifetime partner,
cos I felt he can be a good father.
He hit (almost) all the points of a good man;
faithful, plans for future, savings plan,
everyone regarded me as the luckiest girl on earth.
Everybody thought he was too good for me,
had the thinking I took him for granted 'cos I "bullied" him.
W h a t e v e r okays.
You can jolly well ask him ( I'm not afraid ),
who guided him from the start,
who made him felt at home whenever he's at my house,
who planned for most of the outings,
who helped to lessen his burden in finance,
who still bothered to give mini surprises during anniversaries,
who went all out on expenses for his birthdays,
until today, he's too dependent on me.
I'm not trying to say I'm 101% best girlfriend
but I only let my partner regret losing me.
I don't wish to publicize what I expect from a boyfriend.
because it's gonna be an insult to him, or any of my ex as well.
I'm not doing a comparison on whose better,
I just want to show y'all (20%) part of my thinkings before I made up my mind.
It was not anyone's fault,
I'm only seeking what I really want.
Yes, I may regret one day,
may put myself low & beg for his return,
may get flooded with calls & messages & gossips after this post (shit u all!)
I hardly give second chances.
In case some of you dont know, our second chance is over.
For now,
I chose to take care (almost) everything by myself (:
